I went to Camilla's batchlorette party on Friday. Good times were had by all, but what goes on at a batchlorette party, stays at it. We had a lovely and fun dinner, and then headed out to a Karaoke bar. I guess the youthful drinker gene in me was never activated because even when it was illegal for me to drink in a bar, I didn't enjoy it. (Yes, I was in a bar underage... college will do that to people!) Add Karaoke to it, and I'm in way over my head. While I enjoyed myself, I couldn't help but ponder, why do we have bars anyway?
First, I don't get the smoking-bar relationship. Why in the world do people who would never smoke under regular circumstances, feel the need to light up when they are smushed together with the rest of humanity?? It really isn't that smoking causes cancer. Wake up! Smoking STINKS BAD. Mix cheap beer and BO, hidden unsuccessfully by cheap cologne and aftershave, and you make me want to gag!
Second, what are the social advantages of bars? I really don't understand. I guess you are supposed to meet people that way, but I dislike paying 5 dollars for a beer that I can buy for $0.75 at the beer distributor. I feel like I'm being ripped off. However, I'm stuck in a bind. Don't drink, and loathe my surroundings or drink and be ripped off. Then, there is the fact that to speak to anyone you must yell, repeatedly, short phrases in the vain hope that the person next to you hears you. By the end of the night, you're yelling, plus the smoke-filled room leads to severe sore throats.
Karaoke, now that was a new experience for me. I've always avoided those places, but it was fun to see 10 other women singing in a group (yes, I did participate once). The large group size when we sung actually led to us being heard over the crowds. Otherwise, I couldn't see or hear who was singing. All that could be hear was the occasional note that was
so off-key that the hair on the back of my neck stood up. Who decided that giving microphones to drunken people who are tone-deaf when they are sober is a good idea? What is the draw in this? I thought the point of karaoke was to hear quasi-decent singers, and actually attend to the karaoke. Here it seemed as if it were more a distraction from everything else.
Then of course, you add in the one strange guy who won't leave your group alone. (We had 3.) One was advising us on the purpose of life. One was drooling over another friend of mine, and one was groping all of us.
Reminds me of Julia Sugarbaker, my hero from Designing Women:
Ray Don: "Allow me to introduce myself -- Ray Don Simpson."
Julia Sugarbaker: "There's no need for introductions, Ray Don, we know who you are."
Ray Don: "You do?"
Julia: "Of course. You're the guy who is always wherever women gather or try to be alone. You want to eat with us when we're dining in hotels, you want to know if the book we're reading is any good, or if you can keep up company on the plane. And I want to thank you, Ray Don, on behalf of all the women in the world, for your unfailing attention and concern. But read my lips and remember, as hard as it is to believe, sometimes we like talking just to each other, and sometimes we like just being alone."
It probably didn't help that several in our party were drunk, and doing silly girlish things that have been known to arouse men. But that will happen at a batchlorette party.
